MMORPG Personality - Mr. Popular

Monday, December 10, 2012 | 3

The internet is an anonymous and beautiful thing.

Not only can anyone pretend to be anything they want, but it provides a safe-haven for the downtrodden to work out their frustrations and forget the real world, if only for a moment. In a MMORPG, Mr. Popular takes full advantage of the fact that you might not see him as a transparently bullied adolescent, and it's important that he (or she?) never gets away with it. Nobody comes into my house and acts like their house is better...

You may be wondering why you should care if someone is pretending to be cool, but these types of behaviors are often have a negative impact on group morale. Also, sucky people should just accept that they suck.

Smoking them out

1. Logical Examination

These guys are pretty easily identifiable because they're always lying about doing "cool things" with people and using specific names to make it seem more believable. If you had real friends, you wouldn't have to talk about them on vent 24/7, jackass. If someone in a MMORPG prattles on about anything that is atypical of gamers, such as rock-climbing, concerts, consensual intercourse or pretty much anything other than getting high and being unemployed, they've failed the logic test.

2. Sensitivity Assessment

These types of people are pathological bully-magnets, so naturally they're inclined to go berserk anonymously on the internet when gently probed with mild insults. Paint with broad strokes, and stick to stuff they've probably heard before about their physical appearance or whiny voice. If they instantly threaten to murder your family, they've failed test #2.

3. Completely back off

Things like this have a tendency to backfire, and Mr. Popular won't be able to let #2 go. Just kick back and watch total self-destruction.


After reading over my creation, I just realized that I may have just written an instructional manual on how to bully people, which is probably illegal in England. I'm going to assume that you people are smart enough to recognize satire, and if you're not you should definitely kill yourself. I can't stop!


  1. I'm wondering... These people really do exists, right? :-)


  2. Have you not ever had someone on teamspeak or mumble talk your ear off about all the cool things they do all the time? Yeah, they're called liars.

  3. Sometimes you have to give a gamer... a swift kick in the reality pants.

    Now excuse me while I go pick up my super model girlfriend in my Lambo! We are going clubbing with all the cool people!


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