Developer Translation Guide

Friday, November 23, 2012 | 6

Sometimes game developers give mixed signals.

Although most of us at this point can sort through the bullshit, it's important to realize that literally every statement that comes out of a game developers mouth should be considered wishful thinking at best. I've compiled a guide to make it easier for those of you who are new to development cycles to understand what they really mean when giving development updates.

TRANSLATION GUIDE:

Developer Quote Translation
"Our game will be released 12-16-2012" "Our game will be released 12-16-FUCKING NEVER"
"Our game will be released this summer." "Our game will be released in the next three years, if ever."
"We're testing internally." "Our game is extremely broken."
"Our game is a next-generation MMORPG." "Our game is a clone of World of Warcraft."
"Combat in our MMORPG is more intense and fun than ever before!" "We've replaced tab targeting with automatic targeting, making combat require less buttons than before!"
"We're focusing on storytelling." "Our game is going to be really boring."
"This game is the spiritual predecessor to Ultima Online." "Our game was designed for sociopaths."
"We're blending sandbox and theme-park features." "We added meaningless choices to character development and large empty areas to explore."
"Everyone who has played the game really enjoys it!" "We let our moms try the game out and they said that we're all very talented."
"We've taken all the good features from MMORPGs!" "We copied games that are making money because we're greedy but uncreative."
"Our game is completely free to play!" "Our definition of "play" is comically narrow."
"We kickstarted our project to make it better with crowd funding!" "We're out of money because we're amateurs!"
"Death is permanent in our hardcore game!" "Our game will never be released!"
"We haven't been able to reproduce or isolate this bug." "We bought our engine and are literally incapable of supporting this game. Time to add horse urination!"

Hopefully that helps. If you have other developer quotes you need translated, comment below and I'll add them to the table.

6 comments :

  1. 1. Go to the Dark Fall Blog
    2. Do a CTRL+F on each of the sentences in the left column
    3. Proceed to ROFL

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  2. Can you translate this one for us?

    "The reason it got deleted is probably because the folks couldn't repo it. As we all know nothing is random in code,not even rand(), and I need to be able to repo it to even start to fix the bug.
    I HATE this bug thou, so if anyone can repo it please PM me and I'll get it sorted."
    - Sebastian from Mortal Online

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  3. I added a Mortal themed one to the chart. Totally forgot about incompetence!

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  4. Very clever Mig. I always go "uh oh!" When I hear them discussing design with the community. I think it has been well established the majority of us players are idiots when it comes to making a good game. As per usual digging what ya do.

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  5. you forgot "No grind game and free to play" to "Preventative grind because we want you to buy from cash shop cause no sub"

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  6. @anon
    Guild war 2, right :)

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