Beta Impressions: Guild Wars 2

Wednesday, August 15, 2012 | 20

Guild Wars 2 is Shit.

There aren't any redeemable qualities about it at all. All the features are derivative, and none of the games they're derived from are good. I haven't seen this level of derivative to game development since (insert Korean WOW-clone)! Instead of the usual format, let's walk through Guild Wars 2's groundbreaking features and talk about who they copied them from... Starting with:

Dynamic Events

World events that repeat endlessly as if to say, "Check out how great we are at imitating your grandfather's ability to retell the same story in an increasingly more boring way every time" remind me a lot of Warhammer Online's Public Quests.

Doesn't ArenaNet know that Rift already copied Public Quests? Maybe they thought that Rift's implementation was too exciting/spontaneous and wanted to really dumb it down.

Instanced Storytelling

In Guild Wars 2, just in case you're having too much fun 'playing the game', they break up content with horrible cut-scenes. The comical homage to Star Wars: The Old Republic's atrocious nerd-pandering is overshadowed by the two games' chronological proximity.

Didn't ArenaNet see that the TERA developers already copied this feature? It worked out just as great when they did it! Somehow, Guild Wars 2 manages to outdo both games in sheer genericness!

Instanced PvP

What is the perfect way to make sure that you tear down all the credibility you build with carebears with storytelling and dynamic content? Throw them into a "server war" against other players who have no real reason to fight. I don't really care, but if I cared about stupid garbage, I'd be outraged.

The Battleground Warzone Battlefield PvP implementation manages to be somehow more generic than all predecessors. Prepare to be on a prefabricated even playing field with other disappointed gamers in this tab-target nightmare. I'm disturbed that they didn't include Huttball.

Weapon Abilities

Weapon choice dictating character ability progression? What a novel idea! In fact, it was novel when Final Fantasy XIII had a significantly more interesting implementation of it.

Intentionally Ridiculous Race Choice

Arguably the most confounding of the litany of ripped off features is their attempt to manufacture an underdog race to parallel the Gnome from WoW or the Tarutaru from FFXI. Why would you intentionally make something so stupid looking? WHY!?

Does Guild Wars 2 Have Any Original Features?

I can't answer that, but if you think I've missed something, you're welcome to spam my comments section with where i've missed the mark.


  1. I really wish people would get it through their heads, there is NO SUCH THING as a 'WOW-clone', because all MMORPGs are clones of the "Meridian 59" the first MMORPG; so every MMORPG is a Meridian 59-clone!

  2. Disagree. I think M59, UO, and EQ were all relatively unique. Denying the existence of Wow clones cheapens some great games that weren't trying to provide Wow 2.0

  3. I really wish people would get it through their heads... Shut the fuck up.


  4. My god... Who taught you that language? :D

  5. @mlauzon
    That's the dumbest fucking argument I've ever heard. Apparently all games are now just clones of games that came before them.

    Thus Guild Wars 2 and World of Warcraft are really just Pong clones.

    Hmm... you might be on to something actually. The mechanics of GW2 and WoW aren't that much superior to those of Pong.

  6. Thrazian just fed you your ballsack.

  7. "UPSIDE DOWN EARS!!" A man proclaims after twenty-seven minutes of silence in the brainstorming room at NCSoft. At that point, anything sounding like a good idea.

  8. Last i looked Dynamic events were first planned in GW utopia expansion however it was cancel and they went with Eye of the north instead. So technicaly rift stole Anet idea to make there dodgy dynamic events. But yeah this whole complaint is bull i reckon its from a WoW player judging by the post i could be wrong though its just my option. On that note i would like to point out WoW copied everything from other gamnes already out the only thing they had unique was addon which was a stupid idea imo (deadly boss mod plays the game for you) Take gnomes city in everquest Ak'anon The guards were mechanical, there rats were mechanical the whole city had the mechanical feel now then lets look at Gnomergon in WoW the concept is a exact copy and pace from Everquest with cartoony look to it.

  9. Guild Wars wasn't a MMORPG so they can't have dynamic events. WOW took a familiar equation and improved on the UI and game flow drastically. Taking a very minor theme isn't a clone, its an homage.

  10. If you think I hate MMORPGs that copy WOW, it wouldn't make sense for me to be a WOW player. We in the biz call that a logical deduction.

  11. You know a game is bad when the only thing they get mad about is you called it a WoW-clone and not that it has good features..

  12. I do find the structured PvP in this game very fun. Instant max level, gear is given to you, just go out and 5v5. PvE wise this game doesn't really change anything from the standard MMORPG except being even more carebear than previous titles.

    PS: the captcha on your site is annoyingly difficult.

  13. Sorry for the captcha. I'll see if I can fix it... or remove it. I can't stand structured PvP. I have found infinitely more enjoyment out of random unpredictable encounters, and isn't that the whole reason why MMORPGs exist? If you want structure, play Counter-Strike or something, right?

  14. Yeah, I guess my comment was misdirected since I'm not talking about the MMORPG aspect of the game. RPG type sPvP isn't for everyone, I've enjoyed it since the days of player run tournaments in UO though.

    I'm with you on more enjoyment out of random encounters. I check your site every week or two because I know you're really looking for the same type of MMORPG I am.

  15. Player run tournaments are a sandbox element. Battlegrounds are a themepark element. If I find something that isn't total garbage, I'll post something about it. Right now i'm playing Rel Por (Ultima Online shard). They have a ruleset I can get behind.

  16. > If you want structure, play Counter-Strike or something, right?

    That's usually true, but found a competitive setup that works in GW1. It's called GvG. I never thought to find a working competitive format in an RPG game, but here it is.

    GW1 really showed some of the quality of the pre-WoW Blizzard products, it was a company run by ex-blizzard employees after all. Too bad that decided that the financial aspect of making a WoW expansion is more important to them than creating a unique game and evolve on the concepts of GW1.

  17. I'm a 80/20 PvP/PVEer that's been looking for a new home ever since EA forced me from UO circa 2001. It seems PvPers are a group most companies aren't interested in. Most MMO's I find unappealing or are deleted quickly. The best I've found lately is Guildwars2 for its WvW action. I like the idea of fighting for a cause that's greater than me, in this instance it's control of part of the PvP world for the home server (at least until someone takes it from us). It's far from perfect but it's the most fun I've found in a while. I don't know why it's so hard to find these things in a game:

    1. Freedom
    2. Death means something
    3. Skill trumps gear
    4. Balanced classes in PvP
    5. Complex combat system which requires planning, guile and timing besides just brute force
    6. Reasonable grind
    7. Originality

    Though not a utopia, I am hyped for Archeage. It seems to incorporate many things I've been looking for. This 38 second video on siege warfare looks very exciting.

  18. I'm currently on roxin' da noobs.

  19. GW2 is the only MMO I know where killstealing is allowed and encouraged, since all parties involved get an equal amount of loot from the smae monster. I think thats its most original feature.


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