Is Diablo 3 Easy To Hack By Design?

Thursday, May 24, 2012 | 2

I hope you're ready for a Blizzard conspiracy post.

I'm not typically paranoid about these things, but it recently came to my attention that Diablo 3 sessions could be hijacked in public games giving access to your account through absolutely no fault of your own. Being that my account was brute-force hacked several times while I wasn't even playing Blizzard games (Yes, I have the mobile authenticator), it seems as if we're being desensitized to the idea.

The basis behind this theory is the introduction of the revolutionary new Chinese stimulus package, known simply as:

The Real Money Action House

Selling in-game items for real-world money may seem nifty on the surface, but it is far better for Blizzard than it is for players. Every transaction run yields Blizzard 1 dollar. For instance: I sell a Fluffy Hat of Rectal Tickling on the auction house for $1.50, Blizzard gets $1 and I get 50¢. That's how it works in theory anyway.

In practice, the auction house will be hyper-saturated by hackers and dupers that drive down the prices, but Blizzard still gets their dollar. The plot thickens.

So why the fuck would they care?

Typically, in free markets, the consumers choose to opt out of shady business practices forcing companies to behave ethically, but Blizzard is immune to this because of the historical inability of nerds to abstain from the Diablo franchise. Who even knows if the Blizzard staff isn't selling items for 100% profit? Well played, you evil bastards.

It just won't matter to most players...

The only thing casual players will see is that items are cheaper, and there are more of them. They won't know or care about the evil truth...



  1. Whats a diablo?

  2. Big read creature. Gaping vagina. Can't miss.


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