Top 5 - things "Big-MMO" are too scared to try

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


MMORPG developers and publishers (real ones anyway) are way too skittish about change. I'm not talking about small European companies flying under the radar with cool ideas and terrible concept art, I'm talking about big money developers who actually have the money to release something with production values.

I don't know why they're so afraid to venture outside the Blizzard box, but I certainly know what they're avoiding like the plague.

1. Consequences

If there is one thing that board room jockeys fear, it is the idea that someone that purchases their grind simulator becomes disappointed or upset at any time during their gaming experience. Dumb. Mike Tyson's Punch-Out would have been awful if you could replay any fight an infinite number of times.

I can't stand how easy MMORPGs have become since the term "Full Loot" was stricken from the codex of whispered possibilities. I've sworn off MMORPGs as a whole primarily because I don't feel the rush of potential consequences when I step out into a self-proclaimed adventure. Hey idiots, it isn't a quest if you can't fail... Shitty.

2. Real "Bad Guys"

Not everyone wants to be a good guy all the time, but due to the politically correct desk jockeys in charge of funding, every game will always make you empathize with literally every blade of grass that was misunderstood as a child.

Chivalry would be completely unappreciated if everyone was polite and respectful at all times. Sometimes it is fun to cut people off in traffic and slow down for no reason at all. It keeps people thankful for everyone that doesn't do that. Grow up Bono, not every criminal was coerced into a life of crime by their hard-luck life.

3. Player Skill

This is one that you won't ever see. A MMORPG where people who are more coordinated and intelligent can succeed simply on their own wits and skill. This idea is not only terrifying to publishers, but gamers as well. How many top raiders would win a match of Counterstrike? Zero? Yeah.

However, there is a whole wealth of untapped targets out in the world who actually enjoy playing a game that they can get better at without purchasing a Dogsblood Necklace of Fiery Wonderment +12. They're called normal people, and they hate MMORPGs.

4. Terraforming

This may have started out as a technical limitation of a darker time, but it has become an impossibility due to the perversion of the general public. I don't entirely disagree with this because left to their own devices, 95% of people would end up digging a penis-shaped hole in the town-square. Minecraft proved that.

I suppose this wasn't very well thought out.

5. Everything

Yes. Everything. They're scared to try everything that hasn't already succeeded, but in order for there to ever be any original titles in the future, someone really needs to overcome this stupidity barrier. I guess I will have to make a MMORPG...

Or not... But maybe!

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