MMORPG Personality - The Veteran

Thursday, July 28, 2011 | 10

I have a fondness for the old school mentality.

Shocker, right? The truth is that a lot of things that new developers have tried to do is bury the old school way of thinking. Kids these days think that playing video games should be care-free and whimsical, but a MMORPG Veteran remembers Mike Tyson's Punch-Out like it was yesterday.

Veterans have beaten the impossible underwater level on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In case you're unfamiliar with that massive pain in the scrotum, check it out:

Seriously, screw that shit...

People these days cry about the balance of their character classes because they have never been forced to face adversity in a video game, but the MMORPG veteran wants to play games that constantly try and ruin his day.

The Veteran Demands:

  • High Risk vs. Reward Gaming

    No one has captured the glory of the first generation MMORPGs (Ultima and Everquest) as far as punishing players for dieing or being killed by players. When someone ventures out into enemy territory, they can either leave with loot or lose it all.
  • No More Damn Linear Bullshit

    Modern MMORPGs lead players down a Space Invadersesque one-route system that doesn't allow for any creativity or open world exploration. The Veteran wants to see the world, and kill/be killed by various exotic rabbits!
  • Complex Micromanagement (sometimes!)

    No more automatic DPS calculations! That stuff is for idiots who failed out of junior college! If the veteran wants to know how much damage a weapon does, he will calculate it sketchily in his head, or say screw it because he doesn't need the best shit to kill your dumb ass.
  • High Non-Veteran Populations on Obtusely Niche Games

    There have been a few games made (mostly euro-indie) that have piqued veteran interests, but they seldom have the main-stream appeal to the dull majority. Sadly, the twitchy generation-Z'ers are voluntarily ignorant. They must be schooled on the values of games that pose a challenge.
  • Games With an Actual Difficulty Curve

    Have you ever noticed that the new games you're playing actually maintain the same level of difficulty from levels 10-maximum? That isn't called a challenge, it is called a job simulator. If The Veteran wanted a second job, he would have a first one!

A not so subtle hint...

I relate a lot with this category of gamer because I, like so many others, remember a time before I hated MMORPGs. Sadly, nothing appears to be arriving in the near future (except possibly the highly Korean ArcheAge) that feels old school.



  1. Love it. Dead on. this is me!

  2. Everyone who has played MMORPGs as long as I have is either a Veteran or a Griefer. It's impossible to not be disenchanted with the genre.

  3. lol, this is great stuff. TMNT is a damn tuff game that i never did beat. tho i did get far and am very happy i can even say that. screw u people who beat it. Battletoads is also a game that was stupid hard. Saying that i love those games only cause of how hard they were. im hoping d3 will be fun on hardcore but who knows how hard it will be.

  4. I beat the D3 beta without taking damage... so...

  5. Amen. Many games these days are far too easy, and designed to be a cake-walk.
    That's why I could never get into any MMORPG, because there is no objective, no way to win, and nothing difficult about it except the endurance of tedium.
    I could never get into any RPG for that matter, for similar reasons.

    I know some people that always select "easy" on a game's settings and then like to feel like they're winning. Screw that! I put the setting on maximum difficulty. That's what I did back in the various Command & Conquer games. Did I occasionally get really pissed after getting repeatedly pounded into the dirt? Hell yes I got pissed. But that resulted in all the more feeling of victory when I eventually did defeat the game.

    There is too much emphasis on story-telling and graphics in games these days. 1) I don't want to watch a movie where I have to press a button to advance the dialogue (most RPGs) and 2) Graphics do not a fun game make.
    I played a game called Avara for over 3 years. It was a game that took a ton of skill and one that you could never quite master due to the battle mechanics... and was fun as hell. The graphics were also about as simple as you could imagine. I probably would have continued playing it for even longer, if not for the fact that it was no longer compatible with the next major OS upgrade.
    I compare that to Kingdom Hearts, where you can have all the fun and skill of repeatedly hitting the "X" button to attack enemies...

    No more hollow victories.

    - Pimpbot 5000

  6. That's why I'm changing to MOBAs.

    mmorpg community sucks, the gameplay sucks, the grinding freaking sucking suck. This is for EVERY MMORPG out there.

    MOBAs are the same thing, except the gameplay is fun.

    If someone disagrees with my commentary keep it to yourself because you are wrong.

  7. D00d, seriously? Everquest is old-school on the same line with UO? Are you smoking crack? You must have forgot to mention Meridian59, Asheron's Call and Shadowbane, which actually had FFA PvP with full loot (and adrenaline rush)!
    Also, you should have tried Darkfall, which rocked for the physics engine, where you actually had to *aim* your fireballs and arrows and had a real line of sight!

  8. MOBAs are for kids, now get off our lawn!

  9. None of those games besides Darkfall had full loot. Don't pretend to be old school.


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