MMORPG Personality - The Political Scientist

Saturday, July 9, 2011 | 3

Young people these days exhibit unprecedented levels of arrogance because of the recent 'feel good' parenting tactics. I consider myself an educator, so it is my prerogative to improve the knowledge of these ignorant clods (I apologize to any clods who may be reading this).

News Flash: You aren't special, you were an accident, you're going to live with your parents until they die, and...

Most nerds aren't smart!

Honestly, kids these days think that just because they spend 99% of their conscious time huddled around computers, that somehow makes them more intelligent than socially adequate and smooth faced football captains.

Contrary to the belief of the Barrens Chat (which I use as a general colloquialism for newbie banter) nobody gives a shit what you think about the political, economic, or barometric climate of your country, city, neighborhood, or basement. We get it, you listen to your parents at dinner. It isn't anything that everyone else doesn't already know because you aren't old enough to conceptualize original ideas yet.

As neat as it would be if gamers were actually ahead of the intellectual curve, it just wouldn't make practical sense in the grand scheme of things. That is why the Political Scientist must be stopped at all cost.

And now for something completely different...

You can identify a Political Scientist by their generic pseudo-intellectualism. They will often say things like, "I can't believe (name) subscribes to (fiscal policy)" or something that vaguely resembles coherent thought. A general rule of thumb is that anyone who spends a large amount of time talking in a game about non-game things is most likely a douche.

The only way to extinguish them is by ignoring them completely. The Political Scientist is incapable of burning without someone fanning their flames.

Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop... Bebop cola, yeah. Also, rabbit.


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