MMORPG Personality - The Fanboi

Wednesday, May 11, 2011 | 2

The Fanboi is perhaps the most perpetually annoying yet unintentionally humorous of all the internet personas (mostly in a God bless em he somehow got off his baby-leash-backpack kind of way). Like people who deserve to be punched in the face and Democrats, the Fanboi becomes so deeply entrenched in an idealistic or rose-colored view of their game-of-choice that things like logical reasoning, critical thinking, and not being a frothy twat give way to irrational bias, vehement defense of flawed game design, and being a frothy twat.

While the Fanboi may not be overtly idiotic all the time, and can actually be quite knowledgeable on the positive aspects of their chosen MMO (useless given that MMOs have no positive aspects), any criticism directed at their MMO is often met with blind and violent rebuttal, despite obvious evidence that might suggest they're wrong.

A typical interaction with a World of Warcraft Fanboi might look something like this:

Level-Headed Gamer: "The pvp in this game is utterly boring. There are no consequences for winning, losing, dying, completing objectives, or pulling my weight as part of a team. These battlegrounds are one-dimensional, uneventful, and unoriginal. Even as a high-level and competitive arena player, my success is disproportionately dependent on my team composition and not on how well I press all my buttons in sequential order."

Crazed Fanboi Lunatic: "HOW DARE YOU insult the developers of this game you filthy ass-cunt!! You get SUPER IMPORTANT SHIT like gear and achievements for participating in pvp. There are tons of consequences like being reported afk, your purpz taking damage, and using too many text modifiers."

Level-Headed Gamer: "Why are your eyes bleeding?"

The Fanboi is almost always found as part of a group of like-minded Fanbois, also known as "nerds who need lives" (NWNL). The NWNL group-think serves to strengthen the bond between Fanboi and game, as their one-dimensional thinking is validated by others with a similarly narrow and blind perspective.

Games with the Fanboi-cult-like following almost never improve in a meaningful way because any constructive criticism or suggestions for change are instantly rebuked by the NWNL, and should you foolishly press further, you will be instantly met with solid reasoning like "if you disagree you just don't understand" and "I once ejaculated while thinking about this game". This barrage of stupidity can generate seizure-inducing levels of aggravation for free-thinking gamers and as such this pack of weirdos should be avoided at all costs - a simple task if you're not a shit-for-brains nancy and you've avoided MMORPGS with the appropriate tenacity.

Why have Fanbois become such worthless dregs of the gaming world?

Like what drives a lot of human behavior, the Fanboi just wants to be an accepted member of a group. This desire leads to a deep attachment to their pixelated personas and the random strangers who not only create, but likewise populate their digital world. The Fanboi's tireless defense of their coveted game-of-choice is an extension of that attachment - further strengthened by a distorted rationalization for wasting countless hours of their lives on virtual nothingness.

Also because they're probably fat.


  1. "you will be instantly met with solid reasoning like "if you disagree you just don't understand" and "I once ejaculated while thinking about this game". "

    haha xD

  2. This is the only one Realty Hammer wrote. Help me convince him to write more because he's hilarious.


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