MMORPG Personality - Griefer Madness

Friday, April 29, 2011 | 6

It is Berlin on April 30th, 1945. Nazi Germany is on the brink of destruction under the pressure of the allied forces. Two star crossed lovers, Eva Braun and Adolf Hitler stare at each other as they lay dying in the floor of the aptly named "F├╝hrerbunker" beneath the New Reich Chancellery.

Not many people realize this, but right before Hitler expired, Eva signaled him to pay attention to what she was saying and mouthed out a short phrase...

"Owned 1v1..."

I always found it interesting that people point the finger at griefers as a problem, and not merely a symptom of a game not being adequately entertaining. That is neither here nor there because this isn't a piece on why griefers exist, but about griefers themselves. So lets get to it...

What is a Griefer?

A griefer is an individual who is playing an online game for the sole purpose of decreasing their victim's quality of life.

On a normal bell curve of intelligence in online gaming, griefers tend to lean towards the exceptional side of the curve. I make this claim due to the fact that the very nature of griefers tends to imply that they're capable of getting under people's skin either by verbal or tactical means. This, however, does not mean that they will do any of the following:

1. Act their age
2. Use proper punctuation/grammar
3. Respond to logic or reason

It is absolutely a waste of time to bother reasoning with a griefer because he is completely content with ignoring you completely. If you insult him, or react in any way other than ignoring him completely, he has defeated you in a game as well as real life. It really doesn't matter if you kill the griefer because in wasting your actual time, you are actually providing him with positive reinforcement.

The common misconception is that the goal of a griefer is to be better at a game than the grief'd. This is completely false. A griefer is a time-vampire, sucking away your life essence and bringing you closer to death.

How to Identify a Griefer

Griefers come in many shapes and colors, but the first warning signs come from the most obvious calling card, the name. Common griefer names include a series of racist/sexist puns or ironic references to nerd culture. A few examples would be:

1. Shitwhore
2. SexyBatman
3. XXSSJGokuVegetaXX

Not everyone with names like these are griefers. Some of them are actual children, but you should most probably treat them the same way. Once a person makes it through the first filter, you have to look at their actions. This process requires actual brain-power to accomplish, but if you follow a few simple rules you can identify them.

1. Rogues are high-frequency griefers. The nature of the class is to mislead...
2. All naked players are either spammers or griefers.
3. Everyone has the potential to grief on any given day.

It probably seems like this system or rules could stifle your sociability, and promote general reclusive behavior. Remember, people who have to socialize in online games are exactly the type of pussies that griefers love!

I've seen a lot of games coming out that take measures to limit griefing, but nobody has attempted the experimental solution for griefers. This solution is code-named: Project Stop-Making-Shitty-Games, but I'm not at liberty to discuss it further.

I don't moderate comments, so feel free to tell me why you disagree with anything I've said.


  1. No comments?

    What a dead site, why do you even bother posting things if none reads 'em?

  2. You forgot to say that you can outplay the griefer by returning his stupidity against him.

  3. I want to know more about Project Stop-Making-Shitty-Games and how it will solve griefing.

  4. Like most things that start with "project", it is a secret.


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